Sunday, October 31, 2010
Bolivia Travel Alert
Mistakes to Avoid During the Divorce Process
One of the biggest mistakes individuals make during the divorce process is failing to protect themselves financially. Divorce is filled with emotions and emotions get in the way of navigating the divorce process in a manner that does not leave most without regret.
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Muscogee County, Georgia divorce lawyer
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Columbus GA divorce lawyer & Georgia child custody attorney
Muscogee County, Georgia unmarried child custody lawyer
Columbus GA divorce lawyer & Georgia child custody attorney
Muscogee County, Georgia spousal support lawyer
Columbus GA divorce lawyer & Georgia child custody attorney
New Post About Child Custody
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Nazi-naming parents lose custody of kids
One-size-fits-all approach to child custody dangerous for mum, child
Monday, October 25, 2010
Public Divorce Records Only a Search Away
Parenting Kids with ADHD
Saptajeet
Should I Divorce?
When someone approaches me and says he or she wants a divorce, my first reaction is to say, "Are you sure"" Decisions made in haste can take on lives of their own, and before you know it, there may be no turning back to save your marriage. Deep down we all know when we are at peace with the decisions we've made- big and small. Sometimes we listen to our gut and sometimes we don't.
When we make decisions and take action while our doubt mechanism is in full gear, we know we will eventually pay for it. To avoid this scenario, respect the little voice inside you, if it says "wait." Your gut instinct is asking you to reevaluate the situation before making your decision. Before making this significant change in your life take a good look at yourself and your concept of marriage.
When you're looking at the choice to divorce, forget all about the idea of the romantic fairy tale. It's time to take a good look at marriage and understand what it really takes to make this type of partnership work. Depending on how realistic and honest you are when evaluating your situation, when it comes to a divorce, you may find that the grass may not always be greener on the other side. For a good dose of reality, sit down and write out a pro and con list of staying married vs. the realities of divorce and being single.
Consider the following: children, your career status and ability to make money, finances, life style changes, cost of divorce, being single again and the threat of sexually transmitted diseases once you're back on the dating circuit. (You may be thinking, "I never want to date again, but trust me, you will.)
Consider the following:
Have you gone to marriage counseling"
Have you and your spouse taken the time to talk and isolate the real problems of the marriage?
Do you really listen to each other or just nag, complain and tune out?
How well do you compromise and try to find time for enjoying quality time together?
How productive or destructive are your methods of fighting?
Do you kiss and make up without holding grudges?
Are you teammates working toward the same goals"
Are you both willing to work on your issues together"
Writing out the answers to these questions will help guide you in making an educated, rational decision. Divorce is difficult, but it might be your best option and worth the temporary discomfort of transitioning into a new life. The process of honest evaluation will help you experience more peace and have fewer doubts regardless of your decision.
To find a Pre-Screened Divorce Lawyer in your area, please call our 24Hr Unbiased Lawyer Referral Hotline at 661-310-7999.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Question about a little boy being weird with his dog.
The Emotional Stages Of Divorce
Ending your marriage is not just a legal technicality; there are also the emotional stages of divorce to work through. While not everyone experiences them to the same degree, there are predictable emotions that need to be recognized and worked through, as outlined in the following article.
The Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce
Divorce is an emotional task unlike any other in modern society, and different people experience it in different ways. While some individuals go through nearly all of the extreme emotional states that we describe here, others have an easier time getting through this period and will maneuver these choppy waters with more skill. The important thing to remember is that all the emotions we discuss are normal, but while some are readily acknowledged by the people experiencing them, others are so uncomfortable that it's difficult even to admit they exist. The wide array of emotional states that many people experience during the early stages of the divorce process can diminish their capacity to think clearly, impair their judgment, and make rational decision making difficult or impossible.
Grief and Sorrow
Being sad when a marriage ends is natural. Although it's painful, grief is a healthy emotional response to the loss of an important relationship. We are hardwired to feel it, and it wouldn't be reasonable to expect otherwise. While sorrow and grief can be very hard to handle, most people do understand and accept the inevitability of these feelings.
We know from research, theoretical writings, and personal experience with thousands of people going through divorces that though the emotional impact of a divorce is as severe as that of a death in the immediate family, the grief and recovery process does have a beginning, middle, and end. Though they may seem endless, the pain and confusion surrounding separation and divorce do gradually lighten and finally go away -- for most people over a period of eighteen months to three or four years following the marital separation, though recovery can be quicker or slower.
Elisabeth Kbler-Ross, a pioneer in the hospice movement, first described the stages of grieving about and recovering from a major trauma such as death or divorce:
Denial: "This is not happening to me. It's all a misunderstanding. It's just a midlife crisis. We can work it out."
Anger and resentment: "How can he [she] do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? This is not fair!"
Bargaining: "If you'll stay, I'll change" or "If I agree to do it [money, childrearing, sex, whatever] your way, can we get back together?"
Depression: "This is really happening, I can't do anything about it, and I don't think I can bear it."
Acceptance: "Okay, this is how it is, and I'd rather accept it and move on than wallow in the past."
Understanding these stages can be very helpful when it comes to talking about divorce and decision making. It's important to know that when you are in the early stages of this grief and recovery process, it can be challenging to think clearly or to make decisions at all, much less to make them well. Identifying your present stage of grief and being aware of it is an important step toward ensuring that you will make the best choices you can.
Guilt and Shame
Experiencing guilt and shame is also a normal reaction to the end of a marriage. These feelings arise when we feel a sense of failure -- of not having fulfilled our own or our community's expectations. In the case of divorce, people often feel guilt and/or shame because they have failed to stay married for life. That's partly a matter of personal expectations -- not fulfilling the promises made to a spouse -- and also partly a matter of not fulfilling what our culture seems to expect from us. If our culture's expectations about marriage and divorce are reasonable -- if they fit well with how people actually behave in that culture -- and we don't measure up, the guilt and shame felt at the time of divorce may be appropriate. If the culture's expectations don't match well with the reality of marriage and divorce as people actually live it, the guilt and shame can be much more problematic -- difficult to see clearly, difficult to acknowledge, difficult to manage in a divorce. In addition, there are some marriages in which one or both partners have engaged in extremes of betrayal, deceit, or even criminal behavior that almost always involve feelings of guilt and shame.
Regardless of whether the feelings arise from not having met one's own or the culture's ideals or from actual wrongdoing, we know that for many individuals, guilt and shame can be so painful that they change very quickly into other, more tolerable feelings, such as anger or depression -- often without the person's even knowing that the guilt and shame are there. This is why it is so common in divorce for each partner to blame the other and why it can be so difficult for divorcing partners to accept responsibility for their own part in a failed marriage.
We've encountered few divorcing people who find it easy to see or accept their own feelings of guilt and shame. These powerfully negative feelings often remain under the radar, hidden and invisible, where they do the most harm. Strong feelings of guilt or shame can make it difficult or impossible to take in more balanced information, to maintain your perspective, and to consider realistically your best alternatives for how to resolve problems.
Guilt can cause spouses to feel they have no right to ask for what they need in a divorce, causing them to negotiate unbalanced, unrealistic settlements they later regret. Family lawyers have a saying that "guilt has a short half-life," and because guilt is such an uncomfortable feeling, it can easily transform into anger. We often see people who have negotiated guilt-driven agreements having second thoughts and going back to court to try to set aside imprudent settlements.
Similarly, shame often transforms into blame, anger, or rage directed at the spouse. Bitter fights over children or property can be propelled by feelings like these, because modern divorces seldom brand either partner as Snow White or Hitler, Prince Charming or the Wicked Witch, and therefore the anger, which needs to go somewhere, goes into fights over matters that courts are permitted to make orders about.
Fear and Anxiety
Fear and anxiety are common because of our hardwired "fight-or-flight" instinct. Our bodies react to stresses (such as an angry phone call from a spouse) by using physical alarm mechanisms that haven't changed since our ancestors had to react instantly to avoid being eaten by saber-toothed tigers. You react to stress physiologically in the following ways:
Your heart speeds up, and adrenaline pours into your bloodstream Your adrenaline makes your heart contract more forcefully and may cause you to feel a pounding sensation in your head You may feel hot flashes of energy Your attention homes in on the event that triggered the strong feelings, limiting your ability to take in new information When people are under chronic and severe stress, they may have anxiety attacks, in which they tremble and their heart pounds. Or they may be paralyzed by almost overwhelming feelings of fear that seem to come out of nowhere. We work with many people who experience these feelings as their marriages end. People who feel overwhelmed or confused in this way tend to fall back upon old habits of thought and action rather than looking intelligently at the facts of their situation and weighing the best choices for the future.
Old Arguments Die Hard
As marriages become troubled, couples often rely on old habits of dealing with differences that lead to fights rather than solutions. If those old habits didn't lead to constructive solutions during the marriage, they will surely yield no better results during the divorce. In addition, people feeling anxious and fearful may resist pressure to move forward and resolve divorce-related issues because of feeling unready, while their spouses may be impatient, seeing no reason why the divorce wasn't over months ago. Bitter fights in the divorce courts often stem from differences such as these.
Unfortunately, both our court system and our culture at large encourage us to take action in divorces based on how we feel when we are at the bottom of the emotional roller coaster, when we are most gripped by anxiety, fear, grief, guilt, and shame. After all, that's when most people are moved to make the first call to a divorce lawyer. As a result, people are encouraged to make shortsighted choices based on emotional reactions that do not take into account anyone's long-term best interests. The resulting "bad divorces" harm everyone and serve no one well. They are very costly; they fail to plan intelligently for the future; and they inflict psychological scars on both the adults and the children.
Rob Hahn: Why run? I saw need for reform in family law
Taking the High Chair to New Heights
Danish children's furniture maker, minui, will unveil a new high chair product in September at the All Baby and Child Show in Las Vegas. The product extends the versatility of their already eco-friendly, modern, safe and great looking children's seating system.
(PRWeb August 26, 2009)
Read the full story at http://www.prweb.com/releases/2009/08/prweb2793884.htm
Resentment About Bio Parent Neglecting Step Child
Friday, October 22, 2010
struggling parent of a 4yr son and 13 yr old step son
The Foolproof Way To Get Child Custody (What I DID!)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The Origins of No-Fault Divorce
In 1970, California changed the way people look at divorce and made it a lot easier to get out of a marriage by passing the second no - fault divorce law in the United States. In 1953, Oklahoma passed the countries first laws doing away with the need to find fault in divorce. It took 17 years for the rest of the country to follow suit. Some would say that we have become a progressive country when it comes to our divorce laws. Some sternly, disagree.
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The Pro Se Divorce, or Representing Yourself in a Complex Divorce
I talked recently with one of the clerks of the court in the west suburbs about the number of new divorce filings in Kane and DuPage Counties. I was told that the number of filings is slightly behind 2009 numbers, but that the number of people filing and representing themselves, without an attorney, has risen fourfold.
Now, I'm a believer and proponent of encouraging people to handle matters that they can handle themselves. I recently advised someone who called me that her DuPage child support case could be handled, pro se, at the pro se night court that DuPage has instituted, as a means of helping people get simple adjustments to child support without having to hire a lawyer.
I also feel that divorce and custody cases are often challenging for the litigants, emotionally charged, and complex. The issues presented in these cases really need an experienced attorney, much like the old saw about doing one's own dentistry.
Cathy Meyer, of About.com, writes:
"Before you take on the job of representing yourself in your divorce case consider the legal aspects, not only the emotional aspects of the divorce. If you are not able to keep the two separated, it is best to hire a divorce attorney. Issues such as dividing marital property, deciding child custody, negotiating alimony and determining child support can have long-lasting, negative consequences if not handled properly.
You have the right to represent yourself, to be a Pro Se litigant but, the divorce process can be complex and I highly encourage anyone who can afford representation to seek it, if at all possible."
The Law Offices of Michael F. Roe practices collaborative and cooperative divorce, two lower cost, efficient, low stress divorce models that keep the divorcing couple out of court, and keep money in the parties' pockets, and difficult emotions in check.
Call my office today to learn more about lower cost, lower stress divorce, and reconsider whether a pro se divorce is right for you and your family.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thrifty Thursday: 25 Free and Low-Cost Visitation Ideas for Non-Custodial Parents
Fortunately, having fun with your kids does not require spending a lot of money. Of course, you can get carried away with expensive outings, but it really isn't necessary, because what counts to your kids isn't how "exciting" your visit is, or how much money it costs. What matters to them is knowing that they can count on spending time with you during the visit.
...Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tips For A Mother?s Child Custody Battle
Who Could Possibly want to Adopt a Child with HIV?
Some of my clients are aware that the funds provided for initial consultations with my firm go into a nonprofit foundation account (www.karunainstitute.org) for the benefit of a children's orphanage in Ukraine, among other causes. I am presently coordinating with Life2Orphans.org on an Odessa, Ukraine orphanage project to assist children in the orphanage with HIV.
I saw today, via Twitter, an article that was both inspirational and educational. Aside from helping kids affected by MTCT HIV, it is helpful to understand that with modern care, these kids can be as healthy and "adoptable" as any child, and they deserve a better life than that afforded by the detski dom. Here is the article:
Who Could Possibly Want HIV+ Children?
Feature, HIV + Children ? By Lisa on January 12, 2010 at 7:00 am
I wrote an interesting letter yesterday. An orphanage caring for HIV+ children recently partnered with an adoption agency that was happy to work with them and eager to find families for these little ones. But then something changed. The orphanage director began to doubt the interest of the American families. Why would anybody want an HIV+ child? What motive could they possibly have? In the end, the orphanage director concluded that these children were going to be used for "experimental purposes" and would not allow them to be adopted.
I was given the opportunity to write a letter explaining why we had adopted HIV+ children and how they are treated in our family. I also included a photo of my girls with two of their sisters.
As you can imagine, I was glad for the opportunity to help, but I was also very sobered. As challenging as it is to live with the stigma of HIV in American, it pales in comparison with the stigma in much of the world. Children infected with HIV are abandoned to die because their families have no hope for them. Adults refuse to seek medical help for fear of people finding out. They would rather die than be shamed and rejected.
This concern also reflects upon the lack of hope children and adults all over the world experience when they are infected with HIV. The orphanage director could not imagine an abundant, healthy life for the orphans in her care.
So who could possibly want these children? Who would take the time to complete the paperwork, pay the fees, fly halfway around the world, and then spend the rest of their lives committed to this child? I would, and so would an increasing number of adoptive parents. In America there is nothing that can hold these children back from living life to the fullest. There is excellent medical care and nutrition to meet their physical needs. There are families to nurture them, educational options to develop their minds, and limitless opportunities for them.
http://www.growninmyheart.com/who-could-possibly-want-hiv-children
The Role of a Minnesota Custody Lawyer
Wife discovers husband's second wedding on Facebook
Friday, October 15, 2010
Hurricane Season 2010
friends, their deliveries and the further in close contact with the tour operator, hotel staff and local officials for evacuation instructions emergency.u.s weather. citizens are invited to register with the nearest U.s. Embassy or consular office of the Department of State; travel registration Web site. Registering, American citizens to receive the latest updates of the Embassy and the safety of their security updates during the voyage. Registration will also ensure that u.s. citizens can be reached in the event of an outbreak in an emergency situation abroad or at home. Although consular officers will make every effort to assist u. S citizens in times of crisis, travelers always need to know that local authorities have the primary responsibility for reside in or on the road in their jurisdictions. Additional information about hurricanes, well-being and storm preparedness may be found in the Bureau of consular Hurricane Season 2010 WEB page and "Hurricane Season-Know Before You Go" page. Travel to the Caribbean, the Department of State; the updated information is obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 or from the United States and Canada in the United States and Canada, 1-202-501-4444. Area for travellers to the US Embassy or Consulate site consular responsibility for those visiting the area. For more information, please consult the Country Specific information sheet in the country or region concerned.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
India Travel Alert
Friday, October 1, 2010
Kenya Travel
July 11, the bombing in Uganda, for which the Somalia-based, the United States designated foreign terrorist organization al-Shabaab terrorist group has stated that responsibility for the control of, where appropriate, in view of the increased threats in public areas of Eastern Africa. U.s. citizens should make every effort to increase the personal safety of the visiting companies quiet hours, such as avoiding large crowds with the regions and the rest of the vigilance with regard to the visit to restaurants, shopping centers, or other areas of the general public sepelkyyhkyä. Although the United States Embassy in hopes of peaceful in August 4 with the constitutional referendum in high voter turnout in recent elections, it detects in Kenya has been to contain the violence. The u.s. Embassy has requested that all the key official visitors travel to the Kenya operation shall defer from 11. August 28 July 2010.During this period, the u.s. citizens in Kenya increased security measures, should avoid referendum related public events and be careful about any offers that involve, in particular, immediately after notification of the outcome of the elections events. Demos are unpredictable, may become violent and take all possible steps should be avoided.
U.s. citizens traveling abroad should be monitored regularly in the US Embassy in Nairobi to the website and the u.s. Department of State; the n, from which the current global warning, Travel warnings, Travel alerts and Country Specific Information can be found on the Bureau of the State of the consular website.The US Embassy also encourages u.s. citizens to consider "A safe Trip abroad," contains valuable security information on living and travelling abroad. in addition to information on the Internet, travelers may obtain up-to-date information, to be set by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll free in the u.s. and Canada or the United States of America and Canada 1-202-501-4444 on a regular toll line. After-hours emergency in Kenya, call + 254 (0) 20-363-6000The u.s. Embassy in Nairobi
UNITED NATIONS Avenue, Gigiri, in Nairobi, Kenya
The consular section
American Citizen Services unit
The u.s. Embassy in Nairobi
Email: kenya_acs@state.gov
In the event of an emergency phone number: + 254 (0) 20-363-6000